Show me your dick.

2 weeks ago with 52,455 notes


the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

(via fitsportgirl)

2 weeks ago with 341,769 notes


if we go to a restaurant and have to choose between a table or a booth and you say table i will never trust you again

(via princessesgetsleazy)

2 weeks ago with 522,634 notes
Fuck, my tea.

1 month ago with 143,152 notes


when i find stretch marks on my thighs i make a point of smooching them because they’re just doing their best at keeping the all-powerful immortal Being within me from ripping my mortal shell asunder in a blaze of heavenly glory and eviscerating the cosmos in my divine wrath

(via kawaii-pancake)

1 month ago with 98,808 notes